It is funny that, how he always seems to want to do stuff on his own or with his mates. Never with you and the kids. Does it take a heap of bargaining to get him to spend a day with you. Not a good basis for a happy relationship do you think. Unless of course you prefer it that way rather than have him around getting in your way. Then you hardly have a basis for a relationship or hardly a relationship at all. The kids don't have a father either so the whole situation is a bit disfunctional don't you think.

What do you want out of this relationship. You have to be very clear of that first. If you want a 'normal' relationship where you spend most of your time together and have fun doing it then it is time for a few changes. We must determine why he would rather spend his free time with someone else. Not that we are saying that you are not fun to be around but just look at things in an honest light here.

Are you fun to be around. Do you always give him a hard time over all sorts of stuff when you are together. Are you always on his back to get something done or mow the grass or fix something. Do the kids run wild and drive him mad when he is there.

There has to be a reason that he prefers to go out. If you want him to change you are going to have to make it worth his while. Maybe he doesn't deserve that but someone has to make the sacrifice to get some changes happening. Is it worth it to you. Think about that. Do you want him home with you and the kids as a family. Do you want to do stuff together every weekend as a family. Do you want him to look forward to getting home with you and just loving spending time with you.

If you want all those things then you have decided to make that sacrifice. Make it a definate decision. It is not going to happen overnight but is is a goal you can work towards.

What can you do, what can you change. Lets start with the basics. New hairdo. Lose some weight. Get fit and get some new gear. Try some lingerie and some trendy gear and look sexy again. Take some pride in your looks and you will start to feel better about yourself. As your confidence comes back you can start to change your atitude towards him. Take the lead sexually for a change. Watch his eye brows raise when you do that. Try yout new lingerie at the same time. Meet him at the door when he gets home dressed to kill. Spoil him with your meal preparation and generally make him feel good.

Now, he may not deserve all this and he probably doesn't but you have to make the decision to do it anyway and just let it happen. It will take a little time but he will start to enjoy being home again. His attitude will change and then all that sacrificing on your part will start to pay off. He will be yours again and enjoying it and doing all the right things towards you. That work on your part will be all worthwhile. It is going to be a big sacrifice on your part but if you really think it is worth it then go for it. At the very least you will be a much better person for the excercise.