I used to dream about the time my five children would all be grown and married. Having the house to myself was my longed for luxury. I would have an extra bedroom, decorated, clean, always looking good. No more rock star posters stuck to my walls and doors, I would have a sewing room or an office that belonged to me. I would always have extra AAA batteries. Everything would be in its place, and the house would stay clean.

Finally, an empty nest. Oh, sweet dreams. We do have our fantasies, don't we?

Well, the oldest married and left home. It's a good start. My second did the same. My third said he liked to live at home, and thought he may stay for a few more years. My fourth married and things were looking up. All right! By the time my fifth child married and left home, my fourth moved back in with his wife and baby.

Now, that was the sweetest baby you could ever hope to see. She didn't like me though. She cried whenever I held her. She cried when I didn't hold her. She cried in the daytime and in the middle of the night. "Don't worry, it's only colic," they were told. "She'll be better when she turns two months old."

Yeah, Doc, that's great; but I think it's contagious. How long will it take for me to stop crying, and get back my sewing-room/office, finally decorated, clean room?

Well, the fourth finally got it together and moved out again. Things were moving along pretty well. My second had given me my first grandson. He was wonderful! He liked me! I loved to keep him for the few hours his mother left him. She always picked him up when she said she would, and he never spent the night. Well, actually, he did once. I believe he was around two years old. His mom had forgotten to bring along his blankie, and he and I discussed it for, oh, ten hours or so. He decided he wanted to be a stay-at-home kid.

I enjoyed taking him and Miss Colic places when they were a few years old. They always went home when the day was over. Things were not too bad then. I still had number three at home, but he had met a likely match, and I had hopes.

Yes! number three is married, they have their own house and everything.

Is everybody gone? I don't remember. Let's see now. Yes, I believe they are all gone. By this time number five had a daughter. He married a step-son when he married his wife. So, there are two more grandkids to eat my ice cream and cookies.

Now, number three's two kids dearly love their grandma. They would spend everyday with me if they could. They love to spend the night too. The beautiful extra bedroom is now the play-bedroom for the grandkids.

Number four, the father of Miss Colic, now has a son to be proud of. This small child loves to visit grandma when his mom and dad have to go out for dinner or things. They have to do something every week. Remember, they have two children, so they need a break. They would like to take the children, but, you know, the children would have much more fun with grandma. Oh, sure. This grandma wasn't born yesterday, kiddos!

After a few years of this, number three gave me another grand-daughter. Oh, she is truly a sweetheart, and doesn't she have good lungs! A couple of years later, bet you can't guess, also a new grand-son.

Twelve grand-children. Where is the Calgon? I want to be 'taken away' to a beautiful, quiet place. A waterfall would be nice too. Now!

A note to my readers. Update: My first great-granddaughter just had her first birthday!

Please don't blame me if you become confused about which child is which. I know who I'm talking about, and I'm still confused. When they're all here at once, I don't know which one is chasing the cat between my feet and out the back door. It's a circus. I love the circus, I just don't want to live in one.