I heard somewhere that just as nature hates vacuum and immediately rushes in to fill the gap, so its not possible to hold two emotions simultaneously. That is, you can be happy or you can be miserable, but you cant be both at the same time.

All rather obvious and some might say simplistic. But actually, a lot of people, without realizing it, choose unhappiness as a way of life, all the while claiming that happiness is what they really want.

I watched a movie the other day about the murder of a young girl. The mother was beside herself. For years she dogged the police screaming for them to find her daughters murderer and bring him to justice. In the meantime she was living in a sort of suspended animation. Once the murderer was caught, then she could start living again.

Eventually the murderer was caught and charged. The mother sat in the court, never missing a day, feeding her misery on the details the trial uncovered. And when the man was eventually sentenced, she continued to wail and scream at the inadequacy of the sentence. The murderer had taken the life of her daughter, surely he deserved a much more severe sentence than that handed down by the judge.

According to Lynn Grabhorn, many people not only choose this type of emotional pain as a way to feel alive, but since this is the only feeling they hold, they will continue to attract more of it. This woman will probably attract similarly motivated people, and together they will form a group for the relatives and friends of victims so that they can maintain their rage against the system, and lacerate their feelings of loss and distress.

The point here is not as to who is right or who is wrong, the point here is that this person has chosen to feel unhappy while believing that she wants nothing more than to be happy, but that circumstances or fate or whatever you will, have chosen otherwise.

Today, she can wake up and say enough to pain, and focus on the good things that she can still enjoy in life. And circumstances and people will appear in her life reflecting her focus, as currently she is surrounded with only the pain in her life.

Its all up to her. While she generates only hatred and pain, thats all shell get back from life. And though she can justify her feelings by the circumstances of her life, it is still her choice of being happy only by being unhappy.