That's the shocking realization I've come to in the past month!

That's what is often at the root of women's disempowering relationship to money!

Underneath all of the women's lib and empowerment... women still want to be looked after by men!

Looked after, as in "feeling like a little girl who can't look after herself".

The Cinderella Complex is alive and well!!

Blasphemy you say?

That's exactly what I said when the idea was first presented to me as a possible reason why most women don't stand on their own two financial feet.

When a friend said the Cinderella Complex might be the reason I thought she was nuts. So, I did what I normally do when presented with a new idea; I researched. I read anything I could get my hands on about women and money (there isn't much out there though)and I began to explore it with my clients.

I knew I couldn't just ask, "Do you think the Cinderella Complex plays a part in your dealings with money?" because they all would have been aghast and said, "NO WAY!!"

But during my coaching work I discovered that yes, indeed, many women are waiting for someone to come along and do it for them, or that they have a long buried belief of not being able to or not wanting to take responsibility for themselves.

I can hear you now, "Oh, those poor women, that might be true for them but there is no way any of that is happening to me. My problems with money and finances are different."

Well......that's what I thought too. I said to myself, "I can't really relate to that but I can see it is a huge issue and I am going to address it and begin to unravel it." I knew I didn't have the issue regarding money but a coach of mine pointed out to me just yesterday, that I too, had my own version of this same complex. The way I worded it inside me was, "I can't grow and be exceedingly successful without a mentor."

I've been longing for someone to "be out ahead of me, challenging me and pulling me along." I've been waiting for a prince (or princess) to come along and help me with my business. Hmmmmm.....sounds a bit like Cinderella to me.

My coach pointed out that I am quite capable of flying on my own and while I may need and want some people to spark ideas with, I don't need anyone to lead me or guide the way.

GULP!!

My coach called me on this (which I am most grateful for) and I see now how exceedingly prevalent this myth is in our culture. Even more prevalent than I'd thought!

In case you are wondering if this might have anything to do with your life, I have created the following:

Top 10 Ways a Woman Will Know if Cinderella might be lurking in the background of her life/psyche.

10.You are quite thrilled/secretly relieved that someone else (most often a man) is taking care of all "that money stuff" in your life.

9. You believe you can't understand investing.

8. IF you ever allow yourself to think about your financial life after your husband/partner (either through death or divorce) you feel faint or nauseous or both.

7. You don't "get" why it matters whether or not you know anything about your current financial situation.

6. You believe you can't take care of yourself financially.

5. You think it is a sign of how much your spouse loves you if he controls all the money and financial decisions in your relationship.

4. You really like the thought of having someone take care of you in any way, shape or form.

3. You believe your security is in your bank accounts or your assets.

2. You aren't very happy in your current relationship but you have a great standard of living so you stay in the relationship because you don't want to give that up and you have no idea how you could have the same life on your own.

1. No matter what your net worth is you still have a silent and secret fear of becoming a bag lady some day.

If you answered yes to even one of these statements, Cinderella is in your life to some degree. I don't know any woman who would turn her children over to Cinderella so why are women willing to turn this critical aspect of their lives over to someone else?

I know, with absolute certainty, that you are 100% capable of taking care of this area of your life! Yes, you may need some education and you may need to pick up a few skills and dust off some others, but the capability is there.

All you have to bring to the table is your desire to do something about it.

Let the exploration begin!!