"Would you like to go out for dinner and a show....?" These are famous words that have been spoken time and time again in South Florida and elsewhere, often inevitably followed a few hours later with, "Would you like to come up and see my etchings?" "Dinner and a show" might well be as old as dating itself, starting when Homo Neanderthalis would invite his date to feast on mammoth while watching the elderly and infirm members of the tribe be devoured by saber-tooth tigers and giant sloths. Floor shows have changed quite a bit since those venerable days, with the fatality rate for spectators dropping well below the 50% mark. To better educate the populace about what is available for entertainment in the Miami-Fort Lauderdale area, I bring you my recommendations of what I believe to be the best floor shows in all of South Florida.

My favorite floorshow in South Florida is in a very nice Polynesian restaurant in Fort Lauderdale called Mai-Kai Polynesian Restaurant. In addition to fantastic food and cocktails, Mai-Kai offers an impressive array of traditional Polynesian dances to accompany your meal. The dances link together to be a narrative, making the show feel like a real story, and not just a disjointed medley. The most impressive dance for my money is without a doubt the Samoan Fire-Dance, which, as you might imagine, features man's ancient and unknowable enemy: the all consuming flame. Mai Kai is well worth the trek up from Miami, and I recommend it to anyone.

The next listing comes as close to a traditional 1950's era floor show as I can imagine. Located in the historic Fontainebleau Hotel (yes, you might recognize it from "Goldfinger"), Club Tropigala offers a show that seems as though Sinatra and the Rat pack got together with Desi Arnaz to create an amalgam of stereotypical dinner entertainment. Tropigala features two live orchestras in a Vegas-Style floor show (complete with showgirls) with a distinctly Latin twist. There's nothing particularly original about this show, but that's not to say it isn't fun, or even excellent. It's just exactly what you would expect a classy hotel show in South Florida to be, and if you're in the mood for that, it's one that you don't want to miss. Guests staying at the hotel get into the show for free, so if you're there anyway you have nothing to lose by checking it out.

The last place I am recommending is the only Irish pub on Broward Beach. You might think, "Irish Pub? Aren't those establishments more known as havens for whiskey drinkers and Sinn Fein officials?" Perhaps in most cases they are, but at Sally O'brien's, they are known for their shows as well. Home of a great band called "Fire in the Kitchen" (who feature vocalist Addie O'Connor), Sally Obrien's is a great place to hear a band whose repertoire extends from traditional Irish melodies to slightly more modern fare. While Fire in the Kitchen is the standard entertainment, you can also occasionally catch skilled Irish step-dancers and even highland pipers winding their way through the bar, driving everyone insane. The food and drink prices are quite reasonable as well, so when you're looking for something different for a reasonable price, you should keep Sally O'Brien's in mind.

If I didn't get to your favorite floor show, I'm really very sorry. There are countless excellent shows in South Florida, and I leave you to discover the rest of them. Happy travels, and happy eating/drinking/dancing/debauchery.