Well, here it is February; the month containing, arguably, the most anticipated (or dreaded) day of the year: Valentines Day. Before offering readers advice on how to have the most romantic evening ever! I wanted to find out exactly what women really want from their paramours on that special night, so I sent a little survey around to find out how women rated the ingredients customarily thought to make up a wonderfully memorable evening. Heres what I found out.

? Even though it seems to be a romantic clich, most women indicated their top choice to be a fairytale evening of candlelight, a pouring out of emotion, and a proposal of marriage (that is, if its appropriate). I guess nothing can beat a man on his knees begging you to accept his love and a diamond ring!

? The second highest choice was receiving a gift of jewelry and a romantic dinner. A lot of women liked imagining their boyfriends or husbands going out and purchasing a surprise just for them; the combination of thoughtfulness, time spent, and value made them feel special.

? The third most popular choice was a relaxed evening including flowers and dinner, although one controversial point was the flowers. Most women rated them very to moderately important, while some women didnt care either way. (The tricky part here is to know which category your lover falls into!)

? Interestingly, a big whoop-dee-doo of a night including a limousine, dinner, flowers, and a gift was not rated very high among most women, as was an evening at the theater.

? When it came to a sexy night alone with your man women were split fifty-fifty on this one. When I investigated a little bit, it seemed that the results related to age and frequency of sex during the rest of the year -- a lot of older, divorced women rated it a top choice, while younger, more active women did not.

? Surprisingly, one of the choices I put on the survey was a shopping spree and that was only a moderate choice for women are they crazy?!

? And last but not least was the card. Let me put these results to you in the carefully-chosen words of one woman, Its the most important thing. If you dont have that, dont come near me.

Please. Take my advice: take your time picking out the card. If you grab the wrong one (or the last one), you could end up in the doghouse. Here is a true story to help you understand the weight of this simple, thoughtful gesture.

On a crisp February 15th morning several years back, I was at the office getting coffee in the kitchen when a newly-married woman with whom I worked asked me about my Valentines Day. Since nothing very eventful happened, I gave her the usual, it was nice, and asked about her evening. She gestured with her finger for me to follow her to her desk, as if there was a big secret she was about to share with me. The look on her face, however, was not one of joy, but one of bewilderment. With a furrowed brow and a low voice, she handed me an envelope and said, Look at the card my husband gave me. Im so upset. Im dont know what to think. I knew my husband was not the smartest guy in the world, but Im beginning to think he cant even read. Now confused myself, I opened the envelope and pulled out the card. At first glance, it was a lovely card. It was larger than most cards, had pretty roses on it, and in large, sparkly script read, Happy Valentines Day To My Uncle. (I almost wet my pants.)

Think of it this way: when its all said and done, wouldnt you rather have performed an act of love and kindness than pissed off the person whom you have to trust not to shave your eyebrows while you sleep?

Being a woman myself, I know that women are very aware of that particular holiday and usually dont forget their mates, so I will only remind them that men like to be appreciated too! And whatever special (or unusual) effort your man makes for you, give him a break and acknowledge his gesture of love. (Baby steps. Rome wasnt built in a day!)

My advice to men is just bite the bullet. Forget that she yelled at you for the way you eat, rolled you off the bed for snoring, or made you watch the Gilmore Girls marathon, and make some sort of gesture to celebrate your love for her. Women will usually appreciate anything you do for them and, whether they admit it or not, they enjoy being in the spotlight on that special night (and on their birthdays too!). Still, Im sure there are those of you who think that this is a holiday concocted by big business to guilt people into spending money and you dont want to buy into all of that nonsense -- and I understand your point of view. However! Women talk. They compare stories. They prepare your meals, for heavens sake, so please, for your own health and mental well-being, if you follow one piece of advice in this column, let it be this: Dont forget to buy her a card! And if you figure out a way to make her feel worshipped like the goddess she is, you may find her to be quite appreciative!