Your eyes met at the Christmas barbecue, some anxious flirtation, dinner and a movie, a kiss, some more, and then maybe sex. Before you know it you're "going out" and the future is all sparkles. But before you get carried away with the promise of regular sex, the banishment of lonely Saturday nights and the end of the singles exile, maybe should do a little reality check to see if this is really Mr/Ms Right.

Here are a few observations you need to make:

How do they treat other people their family, friends and work colleagues? If they treat these people in their lives with little respect, are cold, argumentative or mean to them, it might be that your new lover is not such a nice person when viewed without the aid of your lust coloured glasses.

Is this person what you really want or are they just convenient? You'll never get what you want until you know what it is. You'll never know what you want until you take the time to ask yourself. Sit down and write a list of all the qualities you're looking for in a mate. Take your time and keep your mind open, we're talking bottom line, not fantasy wish list. Now how does this person shape up?

Do you both want the same sort of relationship? Be honest now. If you want twice weekly rumpy pumpy and a companion for nocturnal adventures and they want a semi-detached cottage in the 'burbs with 2.4 standard children, it's really not gonna work out. It's not fair to yourself or your lover to maintain the illusion that you are willing to commit yourself to a full-blown relationship if you're not. It's OK to be undecided, but be honest about it.