Several of the clients in my psychotherapy practice are struggling to find someone to date. They have tried the online dating options with little enthusiasm and they dont like going to bars. They look around and see all these other people coupled up but not them. What to do?

Ive been asking them this question: What activities do you like to dothat other people also like to doand that you would be willing to do with other people?

If you can answer this question, you can make a plan to be out in the world where potential dates can see and appreciate you and vice versa. It does not guarantee a boy/girlfriend, but it could up your chances of finding someone to date.

First of all, if you pick something you like to do, youll have some comfort and enthusiasm about it. You are a willing participant.

Second it should be something that others do as well. Solo activities are fine for solo time, but to find others, you have to go out and mingle, at least a little bit. If you activity is something so esoteric that no one else is interested, you can still do it, but dont expect to meet anybody while doing it.

Third, you need to be willing to be doing it with the others who show upengaging with them in some way; asking questions, making conversation, being sociable.

So, do some brainstorming. Make a list of things you like to do running down the right side of a piece of paper. When you have finished your list, put a check mark next to the ones that you know other folks like to do also. Then circle the ones that seem most promising and start adding them into your schedule. Do them regularly.